In two weeks, I’ll be turning the big 2-7. Each year as my birthday approaches, I am completely baffled at the age I am. 27? When I was 12, 27 was ancient. Like, old person. Married with kids and a house and boring. It’s inevitable we will grow older each year so this shouldn’t be so shocking, and you’re going to hit those milestones we once saw as never-gonna-happen-cuz-that’s-too-far-away. Like age 30. I can’t believe in three years I’ll be 30! Ew! (I know everyone older than me reading this is rolling their eyes at me right now. I know because I roll my eyes at 22 year olds that express the same concern as me.) But when I crept into my mid-20s and now the latter half of this transitional decade, I’m noticing how I hang on to some things I did in the earlier half of this decade (and even earlier than that), but I’m also doing new things that only “old people” do. So I’ve dubbed 25-30 the new awkward stage. Forget ages 12-16ish. That time period was awkward enough. But your 20s are a whole new awkward stage. You graduate college. And after you graduate is hard enough figuring out life. I’ve got some stuff figured out. But everyone is different at these ages. Some people I graduated from high school and college with are married with two kids livin’ in the burbs. I’m still livin’ in the burbs, but I’m not married with children. In fact, I still live at home with my parents. I know, the shame. But my bank account is lookin’ mighty fine from that savings. And apparently, I’m in good company.

So with that, following is a list of things I do at (almost) 27 to make this the awkward stage:

Keeping secrets
I’ve always been a pretty good secret keeper. But when you’re this age, there’s special things you need to keep secret for some time. Case in point: pregnancies. No, not me! Friends, family. In the last two months or so, I’ve learned about three people close to me that are having babies. And I’ve had to keep it a secret until doctor’s appointments were made, and all the right people were told. Same goes with engagements (again, not me). There’s a certain protocol about keeping it on the DL (that’s down-low for all you old geezers reading this), so all the right people are told so your second cousin won’t find out on Facebook and get pissed. I want to shout from the Facebook rooftops about all these babies and engagements, but if it’s not mine, it’s not my place. So, hush hush. Then when it IS time to announcement, I will create a hashtag for your baby.

Sleep patterns
I’m notorious for sleeping to obscene hours of the day. I once slept ’til 5 p.m. in college. It’s not something I’ve completely grown out of (example: today I stayed in bed until noon). But it’s something that happens just once in awhile now. Now it’s the grind Monday through Friday and up at about 7 a.m. On the weekends, I like to get in an early yoga class so I have to get up early. Or I have stuff to do. Adult stuff like run errands. When I was little, I used to pretend I was running errands. WTF. Errands suck. Why did I ever long to do them?

New sleep patterns also mean:

• Falling asleep at 9 p.m. on the couch Friday nights because I’m exhausted from the work week
• Going out, but leaving far before the bars close because I’m tired, and making sure I drink a glass of water before bed so I can be productive the next day and not be hungover
• Rarely going out on the week days because it’s a “work night,” but fully getting on board with happy hours
• Not wanting to get up at 5 a.m. to work out or get a head start on the workday, but very willing to jump out of bed for Kate Middleton’s Royal Wedding
• FEELING it the next day at work if I don’t get to bed until midnight. And that’s without alcohol
• Bragging about getting a solid 8-hour sleep

Clothes and whatnot
This is also an awkward and transitional stage for my wardrobe, including:

• Still rockin’ Victoria’s Secret PINK, even though it’s specifically for college girls
• Now having a slight obsession with Ann Taylor LOFT, even though a few years ago I thought it was for older women
• Still like to put braids in my hair
• I own a trench coat
• I not only get pants hemmed, but tailored
• High heels overpower flip flops in my closet
• I now choose comfort over cuteness with shoes…most of the time (I’m not that old)
• Still shop the juniors’ department (love you BP from Nordstrom)…OK and sometimes rummage the kids department (when you’re short, you save)

Other things

• Retired from reading Cosmo, but just picked up the latest issue of Real Simple
• Still let my mom cook for me…but now I ask how she prepares things so I can learn
• Read food blogs, bookmark recipes, and COOK!
• Facebook with the best of ‘em…but cringe when I see younger kids putting inappropriate things on there
• Speaking of Facebook, I constantly stalk people’s wedding photo albums, even if I don’t know them. Is this normal?
• Still watch MTV…but I also like the news, TLC, and wedding shows (Say Yes to the Dress, anyone?)
• Coffee is my daily must-have. It is my crack
• I exercise for health, not to just to be skinny
• Now if I pig out, it makes me sick. In college I could binge eat and drink with the best of ‘em
• Boredom is just a pastime
• Will still watch Anchorman over and over…but now I’m interested in watching all the year’s Oscar-nominated films
• I actually like to drink a beer or glass of wine with my meal (in college this would have made me vomit)
• I can still pump a keg…but now I can open a bottle of wine (no, not boxed)

OK, my fellow awkward 20-somethings. What would you add?